There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
