hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
