let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
