tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
