oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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