you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
