when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
