Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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