dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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