Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
