Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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