me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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