What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
