Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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