I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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