You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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