he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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