You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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