fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
