i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
