they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
