That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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