My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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