EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Rumble strips road head = magical
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
