she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
