if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
