I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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