Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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