mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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