Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
