Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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