I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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