and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
