thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
