Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
