remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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