Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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