Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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