dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
