My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
