hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
