she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
