i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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