You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
