please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
