brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
