and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
