Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
