Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I need moral support for this bender
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
