I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Randomize
